Monday, June 11, 2012

It will be sparkling like stars

Our love fell apart like broken glass shatters on the floor.
I can't tell where it went wrong exactly. I can remember many moments that were just wrong.
Suspicious minds, angry persons, mean words.
No trust.
I don't know what was the worst. The fact that we started something which we shouldn't have started at all, the fact that we went on for too long after it had died, or all these moments I felt misunderstood.
Maybe it was what you said. I never gave you reasons nor right to say to me what you did.
Now and then the words tumble through my mind. Bitch. Slut. Alcoholic.
It only makes me feel more sorry for your small-minded being than I already did.

Then I called it to a stop.
I'd rather be alone all my life from now on than being with the wrong person and feeling imprisoned.
Maybe our love didn't fall apart eventually.
Maybe I just dropped it, smashed it to the floor, danced on it.

And tell you what?
I haven't felt so good since those all months we spent together.
I finally can enjoy being myself again without hearing you say it was wrong to behave the way I did.
I'm making it up to myself again. I can laugh wholeheartedly, dance around, have a drink or two and wear whatever I want to and no one who tells me to stop.

And I know there will be so many good times ahead. I know there will be lovely moments coming.
I'm not sure what. It could be anything. My mind is open for anything.
There are some things I'd like to happen, people to see again, moments to remember. Who says all of that is impossible? If I can dream it, I can make it.
But most of all, I feel more joy and I'm trying to be a better person again.
I only feel the positive things, and isn't that wonderful...

Now we're over, there is more time for the people that always were there for me. Friends, family, new people to meet, old ones to remember. Parties to celebrates, nights to go out, things to be talked.
People who make me happy and who like spending time with me.
I don't grieve the time we spent together. I learned from it and we had our good moments. I'm not angry. I came out stronger.
And you know what?
You were wrong: I do deserve better.

With love,

Another night and I bleed
They all make mistakes and so did we
But we did something we can never turn back right
Find a new one to fool
Leave and don't look back. I won't follow
We have nothing left it 's the end of our time
We can't cry the pain away
We can't find a need to stay
There's no more rabbits in my hat to make things right

Out of my life, out of my mind

Out of the tears we can't deny
We need to swallow all our pride
And leave this mess behind
Out of my head, out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had, they 're bad
Tell them it's me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad

- Sunrise Avenue -


Fleur said...

Op een hele mooie manier beschreven,Kirsten! Beetje hard voor hem,maar misschien is dat wel het beste...
Hoor ik donderdag nog van je wat je uitslag is? Ik kan wel raden wat het is haha :p
Xx Fleur

Teddi said...

kirsten your writing is divine! heart out, soul there, you have the way with words that cuts to the heart of the matter, & you share it with the images.

misslikey said...

pretty and honest!