Sunday, September 4, 2011

Tides are changing

Some things seem so clear, so easy. They are what they are, a simple creation in its own beauty, nothing special.

Just too bad the things I really want all seem like a complete mess...

Nothing lasts forever, nothing can survive the threat of time passing. An hour, a day, a week, a month, a year... What would they be worth if nothing changed? If today would be like yesterday, and tomorrow is exactly like today, what a life would that be?
It wouldn't be one.

My dreams and hopes have always reached to the sky. They still do so. Would it be easier if my expectations, my dreams, weren't that big?
I don't think it would. For they still haven't come true, it might be better to keep dreaming till the dream does come true.
At least it's easier than reality. There are no limits in my mind, I can do anything there. Time, distance, troubles there might be, they don't matter anymore when I dream. In my dreams, it's just me and you and we laugh...

But still, how do I know if these dreams will come true? Everything changing, but I still don't have the guts to say what's on my mind exactly, or what I feel.

It confuses me so often. I talk about everything to everyone, till they are annoyed by it and tell me to please shut up for five minutes.
But the words I'm in love with you always get stuck on my lips...
What if there's something wrong with me, being not able to take the chance and risk something by using these words? Life is about taking the risk and go for it, I know, but still, I just can't do it.
In my dreams, there isn't such a thing, there's just the understanding, safety, and warmth...

Shadows can't find me when I'm asleep. It's been really long since I've had my last nightmare, a few years. My dreams might not be horrifying, they still can be confusing. What am I dreaming, what am I seeing, what does it mean?

Sometimes, the answer seems so clear, but the moments I wake up feeling confused make my head spin.
Is it strange I sometimes pretend I'm talking to you when I feel like that?

Maybe it's better to let you go. But with you, I'd let go of all my dreams. I might be able to live without you, it's how I'm surviving for a while now. But I know I can't live without my dreams. They're what drags me to boring moments, hard times.
Whenever I'm sad, it's okay to think there will be better times, that everything will be fine. That there will be a moment on which everything falls into place and is clear. That there will be a happy ending, and that one day I might not need to say the words I can't say, but that a simple I feel that way, too will be enough.

And I truly believe that that is true. I have to.

With love,

Träumst du davon, alles zu riskieren?
Träumst du? Ich träume mit!
Fühlst du auch, wie unsere Zeit verrinnt?
Fühlst du? Ich fühle mit!
Weinst du auch, wenn deine Welt zerbricht?
Weinst du? Ich weine mit!
Brauchst du mich, wenn du am Abgrund stehst?
Springst du? Ich halte dich!

Nichts ist für Immer
und für die Ewigkeit.
Nichts ist für Immer,
nur der Moment zählt ganz allein.

Brauchst du mich, bei deinem letzten Schritt?
Ich halte dich...

- Unheilig - 


ellie said...

So bitter sweet. I do think you are on the right path. So love your new header!

mazzy may said...

So hope this month will be a wonderful happy time of good moments. Stay creative!

ivy's closet said...

So lovely. Love your heartfelt post!

illustration poetry said...

is death forever?