The sun is coming through the clouds sometimes. Every now and then it enlightens us with its warmth and brightness and we go outside for a long walk with the dog or just to get a subtle tan. The sky is clear and blue and birds are singing.
In a few weeks, there will be lambs, chicks, calves, foals. We might go feeding them some clover or just watching them.
It's like there's new life being brought to us as the flowers come back, trees bloom again and temperatures increase.
Maybe it is a good moment to take some time to think things over and clean up your mind...
Everything changes, but it's good to have a stable place to turn to, a familiar voice to talk to and a well-known bed to loose yourself in dreams.
It makes me think of the upcoming months, as it won't be long before we change familiar things for new cities, new studies, new places to live and new people to meet.
Some are going pretty far away, but for me, there's no place like home - for now, at least.
Happy Easter.
With love,
Kirsten.
The wind of change blows straight into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell
For peace of mind
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change
I've been wondering about luck.
It's a strange thing to think about. You either have it or not, and probably won't spend much thought on it. I didn't, either. I was perfectly happy following the plans I'd made, dancing through life and laughing all the time.
But suddenly things changed.
And admitting things aren't going according to plan, feels like failing. And I never wanted to fail. I never thought I would.
It's some kind of melancholy that is taking part of me. It is trying to take my smile away. It's hard to fight these black feelings and if I weren't afraid of losing myself, I would give in.
I still know how to be the way I used to be - careless, happy, spontanious. But I don't know how to be that way without hurting others.
And the worst is people saying they are worried about me, saying they only want me to be happy.
I never wanted to hurt anyone...
But at least, the sun is shining.
And I might figure out some other plans to follow.
I'll land on my feet.
No matter what.
With love,
Kirsten
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
It has been snowing over here.
No, it was not even snow. It was icy drizzle, prickling your cheeks and sticking on your gloves and coat.
The fields were frozen. Dead foxes, dead flowers, a withe layer covering the earth.
I still feel isolated. My fingers are cold. There's ice in my hair.
There only are few places I can go to escape reality.
There is my mind, where everything is fine again.
There are stories, where I can lose myself in.
And there are my dreams, where it is Summer and we dance together...
In my dreams, everything is fine. There's no need to fight, to run, to be strong there. There are no tears, no broken hearted, no troubled minds.
I'm taken to places I remember. Places I've been. I might have seen more from the world than many others have, but still I feel like I haven't seen a thing. There will always be so many places left, you know. You can't travel the entire world, but how much would I love to go and travel, explore...
Places change, but it might be more than just a place changing.
Maybe it's us changing, while the places stay the same. We grow older, we experience, we live, and as we do so, we learn.
I've seen places I immediately loved, places that felt like home, which is great.
But there have been so many beautiful things which I didn't understand well enough to note. And while thinking back, I realise that I couldn't have loved it then, but that I could if I went back now.
That is one of the things traveling is about, I think: Enjoying while there, then thinking back when home and think again later to find yourself seeing it in a different perspective.
I think that would make sense...
Eventually, time will change everything in us: Perspectives, thoughts, persons. But the places still are the same. Cuzco still has Machu Picchu, Rome still has the Colosseum, Berlin still has remains of the Wall.
But how much I've changed and gained since seeing those places... Some of that came with myself realising there was something that needed to change. Some of it came from actually seeing differences and culture. Most of it came with meeting new people and making friends.
And, according to me, that's the most beautiful thing afterwards: Thinking back and not only seeing the post card-like image of the Eiffel Tower, but seeing your own picture, with a friend posing next to it.
With love, Kirsten
Tell everybody I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes I'm on my way
And there's no where else that I'd rather be.
Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I'm loving every step I take
With the sun beating down, yes I'm on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face.
'Cause there's nothing like seein' each other again
No matter what the distance between
And the stories that we tell will make you smile
Oh, it really lifts my heart
Summer seems to be so far away...
I miss the smell of flowers, of grass, of strawberries and cherries. Even the sun has a smell; dusty, warm and lovely as it shines on your back, leaving shadows where your clothes are.
I miss the sound of whistling birds, the rustling of papers being turned, the screams of children in the cool water.
I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of sparkling wine, reading a book, feeling the sun warming your shoulders.
In my head, it's warm. I'm sitting in the sun in France, hearing the sound of the sea with sand between my toes. I'm sitting in the garden, having a barbecue party with my friends. I'm sitting on the porch, drinking tea with the ladies.
And at night, we are lying in bed together, clammy because of the heat, waiting for the thunder and the rain to refresh the day.
In my mind, the school year is over and we have all the time of the world to do what we want.
We sing, we dance, we swim and we lie down in the grass.
We travel, we see the world, and at the end, we come home and tell stories.
It's sweet, coming together at the end of the summer.
It's good to see how we changed and still are the same.
How we grew, experienced, saw.
How we remembered, missed and came back to our own lifes eventually.
Because there's nothing like home...
And after a few weeks, a few months, we all are together in class again, talking, laughing and having fun.
But I think that time is over when this school year ends.
There are new things waiting for us.
University, new cities, new friends.
Living on your own, going to college, becoming indepentant.
Growing up...
But before that time, we'll go through some things together. And even when we have parted, we still will be together. At least, in my mind we will.
'Cause in my mind, there is an eternal end of Summer...
With love,
Kirsten
I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all.
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain,
Our last summer, memories that remain.
We made our way along the river
And we sat down in the grass by the Eiffel tower.
I was so happy we had met, it was the age of no regret, oh yes.
Those crazy years, that was the time of the flower-power.
But underneath, we had a fear of flying,
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying.
We took the chance like we were dancing our last dance
I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer, walking hand in hand
I remember some moments of magic. The kind of moments when you wouldn't find yourself wondering if it started snowing glitter and stars suddenly.
It is the kind of moments time passes in a strange way. Faster, slower, faster again, and then it seems like it has stopped passing, just before it runs forward again.
You just can't put your finger on it, but something is special...
One moment comes, and then it's gone before you know it. But before it's gone, it's followed immediately by another. It's all put to order perfectly.
One laugh follows to another, one word flows into more words and you're dancing and floating and soaring over and through and in it.
It's the feeling you can do anything, be anyone, go anywhere.
And sometimes, just sometimes, it's not just a feeling, it's a fact.
You close your eyes and when you open them, you're at the beach in Saint-Tropez with diamonds and pearls in your hair. You close them again and suddenly you're watching yourself on a billboard at Broadway, everyone knowing your face.
Another blink and you're staring in a mirror, seeing yourself wearing the most beautifull dress you've ever seen, looking like a moviestar.
And suddenly, you blink for another time, and then you're all alone.
The sun rising in the sky, and there's only you, wearing nothing but underwear and your hair's a mess. There still is sparkling polish on your finger and toenails, there's a smudged line of eyeliner under your eyes. Your feet still hurt from the highest heels, your lips still show a hint of the red lipstick you wore, your dress lying on the chair across from your bed.
It's gone now, but there must have been something...
You're left with nothing but memories coming back to you slowly and a satisfying feeling.
Memories of how you danced, sung, laughed.
Images in your head of how you felt wonderful, beautiful, happy.
The feeling you're body was working on endorhins and sparkling champagne rather than on oxigen. Your head feeling light and nothing seemed to matter.
It must have been a wonderful night, and a lovely dream.
It seems like it's gone forever, but...
I want to invite you to a magical blur.
I want to take you to a place filled with miracles, with glitter and stars.
A place where everything is better, prettier, more for a while.
Enter it, be there for a moment, spend some time feeling wonderful and having fun. Dance, whirl around and enjoy.
Then leave.
It will bring great memories of even greater moments.
And with some good luck, there's a picture on the wall to bring it all back to you whenever you want.
'Cause eventually, it's just what it is without your fantasy...
With love,
Kirsten
I close my eyes and dream about a sunny holiday
I wish that I was beachin' down in Saint Tropez.
Or sitting in the lobby at the fabulous Pierre
With diamonds on my fingers and not a single care.
Instead I'm on the Avenue where nobody goes
With fields of green that wilted like a last summer rose.
Some people call it paradise, but I call it pain
Baby take me anywhere, but not here again.
Why am I sitting in the middle of nowhere?
Standing here with nothing to do
Wondering if I really love you, oh oh,
I guess that I do.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas this year.
Lots of joy, pleasure and love. A good time with your family. The prettiest Christmas tree.
Everything you wished for and more.
I hope you celebrated and had a gorgeous New Year's Eve yesterday night, and that you can look back to a great year.
I had a party with some friends and we talked for a while about last year. It made me think of some special 2011-moments.
I did a lot of travelling, saw so many places I never saw before and fell in love with in.
Rome, with all the art, the buildings, the Italian ambiance, and all my friends from school. Secretly smoking cigarettes in the bathroom of our hotel room when we felt down the last day, talking and sharing our problems. The blisters on my feet from walking all day long for a week. The sun, the Colosseum, the Trevi-fountain.
Germany, a four week-trip from Bonn to a tiny town, from Munich to Berlin. How good it felt to see the sun again in Munich after two weeks of rain. How Berlin was pretty in both sunlight and rain. Cycling in Berlin, the wind blowing through my hair on a summer's evening, with people from all over the world. The museums, the busy days, and above all, the people.
And there were so much more lovely moments. Too much to mention. The year feels complete.
Eventually, this must be somewhat the same for everyone. We all had some good and some bad moments, but I hope there were more of the good ones.
And if you look back to the bad memories, I hope you notice you've learned something from them and have grown stronger.
Now all we have to do is looking forward. A new year, new chances, new possibilities.
New plans to make, new dreams to fulfill, new goals to achieve.
There are so many things waiting for me: My eighteenth birthday, graduation, the final-dance. Letting go of my high school friends, university, my driver's licence. A summer holiday to the south of France with my parents, sisters, my sister's sweetheart and my own.
I'm sure not everything will go according to plan.
But to be honest... It would be boring, and I would not want it any other way.
Happy new year.
With love,
Kirsten
Here’s to us one more toast and then we’ll pay the bill
Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill
Birds of passage, you and me
We fly instinctively
When the summer’s over and the dark clouds hide the sun
Neither you nor I’m to blame when all is said and done.
It’s so strange when you’re down and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more
Clear-headed and open-eyed
With nothing left untried
Standing calmly at the crossroads,no desire to run
There’s no hurry any more when all is said and done.
These are the days when the air is cold and fresh in the morning.
The days when the air feels heavy and smoky in the late afternoon.
The days you come home with red cheeks and frozen fingers from blowing winds.
And then, when you walk the driveway to the front door, yell: "I'm home!" and open the door, it feels like coming home in every way it could.
Tripping puppy toes on the wooden floor. Songs playing on the readio softly. Light in the garden, in the living room. It feels like they're in my body, too.
These days always pass in a blur.
It goes too fast, too slow. There's too little time to get everything fixed and perfect in time, yet it always works out. Presents, dinners, meetings. Family, friends, decoration.
I've always loved this time of the year.
Come home, make yourself comfy-cosy on the couch with a good cup of hot tea and a lovely chicklit or your favorite classic.
Watch all the movies on the television, sing along with the songs and put on the loveliest Christmas tree.
It's all a lovely tradition and makes a big difference.
But this year, I feel like I have a problem.
I've had the very same feeling every year, but it always is over when December starts, at last.
And now, it just won't leave me and I don't know what to do about it, but:
I just don't know what to ask for Christmas!
I already have everthing I need and more, so what is left for me to ask for?
So the only things I'll ask for this year are loads of snow, loads of glitter, candle light, a warm home and as always love, lots of it.
And every gift received, is a nice bonus.
Every gift given, is entirely different. It's a smile received.
And I believe that that is much better.
With love,
Kirsten
So this is Christmas, and what have you done ?
Another year over and a new one just begun. And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun.
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear.
And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong (War is over if you want it)
For rich and the poor ones the world is so wrong (War is over now)
And so Happy Christmas for black and for white (War is over if you want it)
For yellow and red ones, let's stop all the fight. (War is over now).
A post dedicated to those who lost the fight.
To those who still are fighting.
To those who will have to fight.
And above all, to those who have won the fight.
October Breast Cancer Month is over now, but I still wanted to share the prettiest pictures taken from Pink Ribbon Magazine.
I don't think it's something we only have to think about once a year. It happens everyday, everywhere.
So, just before we could forget...
A future without cancer. Without the pain, the loss, the need to fight.
Will it ever be like that?
I can only dream about things like that, and maybe, one day, I could do something for those fighters.
In ten, fifteen years, I want to be the one that says: "We did what we can, and it's gone."
I also will have to be the one to tell people something they never want to hear.
But I will do whatever I can to make a difference.
Every person is another one, every life saved a miracle.
I've been wondering about the future lately. I really hope I can realise one of my biggest dreams; studying medicine and become a doctor. It's what I've always wanted, and I know I'll never want something else.
But can I handle the job? Am I strong enough to look someone in the eyes and say: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer, and there is nothing we can do about it anymore."?
I'm not sure. I hope I am. And if I'm not, I'll find something else to live happily with.
Every ending is a new beginning. You have to close the old doors to open new ones.
A new beginning doesn't have to feel good right from the start. You might grow used to it.
You always have a choice.
And if you just keep in mind some lessons I always try to think of when everything seems to be going wrong, I'm sure it will be better.
First: Love is the solution for so many problems.
Love and time can heal all wounds, if you only let them. If you feel bad, call your best friend, talk to your mother, play with your pet.
Prevent yourself from feeling lonely and sad. You never are alone.
Second: Life is a precious gift we're given. Don't waste it.
Time always is too short. Make sure you never regret things for not doing them.
Be crazy, be yourself, do what you feel like. If it's dancing on the table and singing out loud, then dance on the table and sing. If it's crawling under the covers and relax, do so.
But just make sure you are doing it because you want to.
Third: Never forget to smile and be kind.
Reach out your hand when that's what someone needs. Help them to get up again, take these first insecure steps together. It makes everyone stronger.
Be nice to yourself. It's who you have to live your life with.
Now, all that is left for me to say, is never give up. No matter what you're fighting for.
With love,
Kirsten
And you know, and you know
'Cause my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow
So before I'm old I'll confess:
You think that I'm strong
You're wrong, you're wrong
I'll sing my song, my song, my song.
If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young, we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sun.
Pour drops of sweetness on my skin.
Make them linger there, make them stay.
I want to feel them melting on my skin, the way your warmth mixes with mine.
There are so many different ways to feel, to say, to do and to experience things.
It's all about perceptive, perspective.
Same things. Different image.
Change a little detail, look at it in a different way, and it's clearer immediately.
But still, the inner core, its heart, remains the same...
Does looking in a different way change anything at all then?
I think it does.
Look at it front-faced, don't be afraid to look things right in the eyes and say: "Here I am."
Fear never brings wise decisions. It brings doubts, troubles, blurred minds. Who would want that?
Face your fears.
Face your feelings.
Face everything and everyone that crosses your path.
Let it overtake you, let it get you.
It might be something beautiful...
With love,
Kirsten
If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way.
Remember that I told you I had something to tell you this week?
Well, here comes the big news...
When I came home yesterday night, I was welcomed by the sound of little, hopping paws, and then a tiny, warm creature sniffing around my shoes.
I immediately fell in love. Again.
It's a good thing I have a lot of love to share with everyone...
This is Sepp, the new subject of my affection.
Eight weeks old today, and he's such a cutie. Just like a baby, making cute sounds, sleeping a lot, getting used to everything, from his collar to everything in our house, including us.
It's so cute how he runs around the rooms, slipping on our floor, jumping and just being adorable.
His favorite spots: Under the couch, on your leg, or on your lap, and then falling asleep there. I don't mind, how could you ever get up when he's lying there, making these quiet sounds, his tiny nose vibrating slightly.
It's going to be a little naughty one, I can assure you. Do I mind? Not really...
He's so small, but he sure will grow so fastly. I can't wait for him to be little taller, so we can go for longer walks with him and he won't be that shy anymore.
I do understand it, of course, we just took him home yesterday, away from his mother and his siblings, I wouldn't like that either...
But I do hope he'll feel like home at our house soon!
Sun shines through the glass roof.
It warms my arms, my neck, my hair.
Here in our garden, it seems like summer still is on it's highest peak.
But if you look better, it's evidently there.
Autumn.
The greens are starting to loose.
Red, orange, yellow, brown is taking over the world outside.
I can't say I don't like it.
Red is warm, it's the color you see when you look at the sun and close your eyes...
Autumn is cosy.
Rainy days are perfect for creating things, from baking a perfect cake to painting.
Reading, writing, or going outside for a long walk in the forest.
Falling leafs smell so good...
In the morning and evening, as the sun starts to rise or to set, I do miss the warming feeling it ususally provides me with when I'm going outside.
But there are other things that manage to keep me warm. I love warm sweaters, fuzzy blankets, hot tea and lying comfy-cosy on the couch with a good movie on the TV.
But above all and more important, love warms us all from the inside out.
And there's nothing better than that.
With love,
Kirsten
P.S.: I can't wait for next week. I have something to tell you then.
One day you'll look to see I've gone
For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
Some day you'll know I was the one
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
And now the time has come
And so my love I must go.
And though I lose a friend,
In the end you will know.
One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
Yes, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.
The opposite of hate is not love.
It is intimacy.
It's being close to someone, something.
It's being able to tell anything without being ashamed.
It's saying what's on your mind.
Above all, it's being yourself.
If you come closer and look better, you will see so many things you never noticed before
Look at the sea and see the glistening waves.
Look at a friend and notice you share the same thought.
Look into someone's eyes and suddenly they're multi-colored.
Look into someone's soul and feel it's alright.
Details make things worth looking at.
They make you wanna get closer, they make you wanna understand the complexity that hides behind the simple things.
Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect.
But these details, these little things!
Above all, they make things beautiful.
Sparkles, flowers, patterns. Colors, patches, dots.
These details, once again.
Everything we know is built out of parts.
Every little flower has dozens of petals, perfect for plucking: "Love me, love me not, love me, love me not..."
Every person has his own whims, the things that make you one-of-a-kind.
We're all pretty, we shine and sparkle and enlight.
Little surprises are hidden everywhere.
They are there to catch us when we least expect it, and therefore we call them surprises.
Never expect, always be prepared for what might come.
But also let everything come to you. It might wash you over, it might bring you down.
But there will be things that will bring you up again, make you stronger, make it worth it.
Adore who loves you. Love who adores you.
Laugh with these who make you laugh. Laugh because of yourself.
Accept that it's not always the way you want it to be. Make it that way, then.
Go for it.
Don't rush, take your time to relax.
Smell the flowers, the grass, the ocean.
Hold on tight when you found what you've been looking for.
With love,
Kirsten
I know a way to something much better
Hold it inside me
I know a fairytale that 's longer
Than anyone will read
I know a way to something much higher
Keep it inside me
I know the way to touch the sky
Into the light we go, we 're speeding
With all headlights on
I know the glory moment's approaching
This can go so wrong
I know a way to something much higher
Keep it inside me
We 're away from today and this time.
