Let's have a garden party

Summer seems to be so far away...
I miss the smell of flowers, of grass, of strawberries and cherries. Even the sun has a smell; dusty, warm and lovely as it shines on your back, leaving shadows where your clothes are.
I miss the sound of whistling birds, the rustling of papers being turned, the screams of children in the cool water.
I miss sitting in the garden with a glass of sparkling wine, reading a book, feeling the sun warming your shoulders.



In my head, it's warm. I'm sitting in the sun in France, hearing the sound of the sea with sand between my toes. I'm sitting in the garden, having a barbecue party with my friends. I'm sitting on the porch, drinking tea with the ladies.
And at night, we are lying in bed together, clammy because of the heat, waiting for the thunder and the rain to refresh the day.



In my mind, the school year is over and we have all the time of the world to do what we want.
We sing, we dance, we swim and we lie down in the grass.
We travel, we see the world, and at the end, we come home and tell stories.
It's sweet, coming together at the end of the summer.
It's good to see how we changed and still are the same.
How we grew, experienced, saw.
How we remembered, missed and came back to our own lifes eventually.
Because there's nothing like home...



And after a few weeks, a few months, we all are together in class again, talking, laughing and having fun.
But I think that time is over when this school year ends.
There are new things waiting for us.
University, new cities, new friends.
Living on your own, going to college, becoming indepentant.
Growing up...

But before that time, we'll go through some things together. And even when we have parted, we still will be together. At least, in my mind we will.
'Cause in my mind, there is an eternal end of Summer...

With love,
Kirsten


I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all.
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain,
Our last summer, memories that remain.

We made our way along the river
And we sat down in the grass by the Eiffel tower.
I was so happy we had met, it was the age of no regret, oh yes.
Those crazy years, that was the time of the flower-power.
But underneath, we had a fear of flying,
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying.
We took the chance like we were dancing our last dance

I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer, walking hand in hand 

- ABBA -

Dreams

I remember some moments of magic. The kind of moments when you wouldn't find yourself wondering if it started snowing glitter and stars suddenly.
It is the kind of moments time passes in a strange way. Faster, slower, faster again, and then it seems like it has stopped passing, just before it runs forward again.
You just can't put your finger on it, but something is special...



One moment comes, and then it's gone before you know it. But before it's gone, it's followed immediately by another. It's all put to order perfectly.
One laugh follows to another, one word flows into more words and you're dancing and floating and soaring over and through and in it.



It's the feeling you can do anything, be anyone, go anywhere.
And sometimes, just sometimes, it's not just a feeling, it's a fact.
You close your eyes and when you open them, you're at the beach in Saint-Tropez with diamonds and pearls in your hair. You close them again and suddenly you're watching yourself on a billboard at Broadway, everyone knowing your face.
Another blink and you're staring in a mirror, seeing yourself wearing the most beautifull dress you've ever seen, looking like a moviestar.



And suddenly, you blink for another time, and then you're all alone.
The sun rising in the sky, and there's only you, wearing nothing but underwear and your hair's a mess. There still is sparkling polish on your finger and toenails, there's a smudged line of eyeliner under your eyes. Your feet still hurt from the highest heels, your lips still show a hint of the red lipstick you wore, your dress lying on the chair across from your bed.
It's gone now, but there must have been something...



You're left with nothing but memories coming back to you slowly and a satisfying feeling.
Memories of how you danced, sung, laughed.
Images in your head of how you felt wonderful, beautiful, happy.
The feeling you're body was working on endorhins and sparkling champagne rather than on oxigen. Your head feeling light and nothing seemed to matter.

It must have been a wonderful night, and a lovely dream.
It seems like it's gone forever, but...



I want to invite you to a magical blur.
I want to take you to a place filled with miracles, with glitter and stars.
A place where everything is better, prettier, more for a while.
Enter it, be there for a moment, spend some time feeling wonderful and having fun. Dance, whirl around and enjoy.
Then leave.

It will bring great memories of even greater moments.
And with some good luck, there's a picture on the wall to bring it all back to you whenever you want.
'Cause eventually, it's just what it is without your fantasy...

With love,
Kirsten

I close my eyes and dream about a sunny holiday
I wish that I was beachin' down in Saint Tropez.
Or sitting in the lobby at the fabulous Pierre
With diamonds on my fingers and not a single care.

Instead I'm on the Avenue where nobody goes
With fields of green that wilted like a last summer rose.
Some people call it paradise, but I call it pain
Baby take me anywhere, but not here again.

Why am I sitting in the middle of nowhere?
Standing here with nothing to do
Wondering if I really love you, oh oh,
I guess that I do.

- Caro Emerald -

Floating through the sky

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas this year.
Lots of joy, pleasure and love. A good time with your family. The prettiest Christmas tree.
Everything you wished for and more.



I hope you celebrated and had a gorgeous New Year's Eve yesterday night, and that you can look back to a great year.
I had a party with some friends and we talked for a while about last year. It made me think of some special 2011-moments.

I did a lot of travelling, saw so many places I never saw before and fell in love with in.
Rome, with all the art, the buildings, the Italian ambiance, and all my friends from school. Secretly smoking cigarettes in the bathroom of our hotel room when we felt down the last day, talking and sharing our problems. The blisters on my feet from walking all day long for a week. The sun, the Colosseum, the Trevi-fountain.

Germany, a four week-trip from Bonn to a tiny town, from Munich to Berlin. How good it felt to see the sun again in Munich after two weeks of rain. How Berlin was pretty in both sunlight and rain. Cycling in Berlin, the wind blowing through my hair on a summer's evening, with people from all over the world. The museums, the busy days, and above all, the people.

And there were so much more lovely moments. Too much to mention. The year feels complete.
Eventually, this must be somewhat the same for everyone. We all had some good and some bad moments, but I hope there were more of the good ones.
And if you look back to the bad memories, I hope you notice you've learned something from them and have grown stronger.



Now all we have to do is looking forward. A new year, new chances, new possibilities.
New plans to make, new dreams to fulfill, new goals to achieve.
There are so many things waiting for me: My eighteenth birthday, graduation, the final-dance. Letting go of my high school friends, university, my driver's licence. A summer holiday to the south of France with my parents, sisters, my sister's sweetheart and my own.

I'm sure not everything will go according to plan.
But to be honest... It would be boring, and I would not want it any other way.
Happy new year.

With love,
Kirsten

Here’s to us one more toast and then we’ll pay the bill
Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill
Birds of passage, you and me
We fly instinctively
When the summer’s over and the dark clouds hide the sun
Neither you nor I’m to blame when all is said and done.

It’s so strange when you’re down and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more
Clear-headed and open-eyed
With nothing left untried
Standing calmly at the crossroads,no desire to run
There’s no hurry any more when all is said and done.

- ABBA -

I can't wait to see those faces

These are the days when the air is cold and fresh in the morning.
The days when the air feels heavy and smoky in the late afternoon.
The days you come home with red cheeks and frozen fingers from blowing winds.
And then, when you walk the driveway to the front door, yell: "I'm home!" and open the door, it feels like coming home in every way it could.

Tripping puppy toes on the wooden floor. Songs playing on the readio softly. Light in the garden, in the living room. It feels like they're in my body, too.



These days always pass in a blur.
It goes too fast, too slow. There's too little time to get everything fixed and perfect in time, yet it always works out. Presents, dinners, meetings. Family, friends, decoration.
I've always loved this time of the year.

Come home, make yourself comfy-cosy on the couch with a good cup of hot tea and a lovely chicklit or your favorite classic.
Watch all the movies on the television, sing along with the songs and put on the loveliest Christmas tree.
It's all a lovely tradition and makes a big difference.



But this year, I feel like I have a problem.
I've had the very same feeling every year, but it always is over when December starts, at last.
And now, it just won't leave me and I don't know what to do about it, but:

I just don't know what to ask for Christmas!

I already have everthing I need and more, so what is left for me to ask for?
So the only things I'll ask for this year are loads of snow, loads of glitter, candle light, a warm home and as always love, lots of it.
And every gift received, is a nice bonus.
Every gift given, is entirely different. It's a smile received.
And I believe that that is much better.

With love,
Kirsten


So this is Christmas, and what have you done ?
Another year over and a new one just begun.
And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun.
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear.


And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong
(War is over if you want it)
For rich and the poor ones the world is so wrong
(War is over now)
And so Happy Christmas for black and for white
(War is over if you want it)
For yellow and red ones, let's stop all the fight.
(War is over now).

- John Lennon -

This dream was me and you.

I happened to come across some pictures my sister took about half a year ago.
Surprised, interested, I started watching them.
Surprised because I immediately noticed that I knew all these places the pictures were showing me.
Interested, because I wondered if she would have seen the same things I saw two years earlier.

Of course, nothing was exactly the same. The weather conditions were different, she had a newer camera than I had, she did some other things.
But I was glad to find the city itself hasn't changed and still is as beautiful as I remember it.

Let's take a trip through some pictures, through two different minds that are the same somehow, too.
Two different persons seeing the same things. In different ways.





The coast of Blanes still looks the same... Only sunnier.
Doesn't mean less pretty. Just means different.





The sky still is blue, the leaves still are green.
The trees might have grown taller. Some might have fallen down, others might have been born out of the earth. But in this abundant garden, I don't think a chance is visible...





The sea still has that incredible attraction on me.
Do you know that feeling, when you see the sea, you just have to feel the waves, the water?






The sun still sparkles on the water, making you want to squeeze your eyes rather than looking away.





There still are birds. Though I'm not sure where my sister took this picture with the geese, I liked the fact that she also seems to like taking pictures of animals. I only wished I had seen these geese too...





The city still has it all.
The fuzzy crowded side of the city, the lovely mediterrenean influence of a southern city.





You can still see the most incredible colors. You still can buy anything you would want.
I still must smell like fresh fruit and vegetetables there...





It still is a place where I would imagine fairies living.





It's still so colorful, so lovely and such a nice place to go with friends.





It still is crazy, somehow. Gaudí, Dalí, all these great artists have had the biggest influence, and it's like nothing else I know.





The Sagrada Familia still isn't finished. Even after two years, though they must have done a lot on the inside. I saw the pictures, and it's so interesting to see the building changing. Once it's ready, I really want to go back...





There are details everywhere, now even more than two years ago.
You never are done looking around.

Comparing my own pictures to the ones my sister took, I can't deny the similarity that shows up now and then.
But what makes me wonder, is this: We both saw the same things, in the same city, same circumstances. I love the city and the people, the feeling. My sister doesn't like it at all. I can't even imagine someone not immediately loving it.
It might only be a different way of experiencing. Show two people the very same thing, and they won't see the same.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder if I'm the only one who sees things in a different way.
And I wouldn't want it any other way.

With love,
Kirsten

I had this perfect dream.
This dream was me and you.
I want all the world to see,
A miracle sensation,
My guide and inspiration.
Now my dream is slowly coming true.
The wind is a gentle breeze,
The bells are ringing out.
They're calling us together, guiding us forever.
Wish my dream would never go away


Barcelona! It was the first time that we met.
Barcelona! How can I forget?
The moment that you stepped into the room,
You took my breath away.

- Freddie Mercury - 

Inspiration

A post dedicated to those who lost the fight.
To those who still are fighting.
To those who will have to fight.
And above all, to those who have won the fight.

October Breast Cancer Month is over now, but I still wanted to share the prettiest pictures taken from Pink Ribbon Magazine.
I don't think it's something we only have to think about once a year. It happens everyday, everywhere.
So, just before we could forget...

A future without cancer. Without the pain, the loss, the need to fight.
Will it ever be like that?
I can only dream about things like that, and maybe, one day, I could do something for those fighters.


In ten, fifteen years, I want to be the one that says: "We did what we can, and it's gone."
I also will have to be the one to tell people something they never want to hear.
But I will do whatever I can to make a difference.
Every person is another one, every life saved a miracle.

I've been wondering about the future lately. I really hope I can realise one of my biggest dreams; studying medicine and become a doctor. It's what I've always wanted, and I know I'll never want something else.
But can I handle the job? Am I strong enough to look someone in the eyes and say: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer, and there is nothing we can do about it anymore."?

I'm not sure. I hope I am. And if I'm not, I'll find something else to live happily with.

Every ending is a new beginning. You have to close the old doors to open new ones.
A new beginning doesn't have to feel good right from the start. You might grow used to it.
You always have a choice.
And if you just keep in mind some lessons I always try to think of when everything seems to be going wrong, I'm sure it will be better.



First: Love is the solution for so many problems.
Love and time can heal all wounds, if you only let them. If you feel bad, call your best friend, talk to your mother, play with your pet.
Prevent yourself from feeling lonely and sad. You never are alone.



Second: Life is a precious gift we're given. Don't waste it.
Time always is too short. Make sure you never regret things for not doing them.
Be crazy, be yourself, do what you feel like. If it's dancing on the table and singing out loud, then dance on the table and sing. If it's crawling under the covers and relax, do so.
But just make sure you are doing it because you want to.



Third: Never forget to smile and be kind.
Reach out your hand when that's what someone needs. Help them to get up again, take these first insecure steps together. It makes everyone stronger.
Be nice to yourself. It's who you have to live your life with.



Now, all that is left for me to say, is never give up. No matter what you're fighting for.

With love,
Kirsten

And you know, and you know

'Cause my life's a mess

And I'm trying to grow
So before I'm old I'll confess:

You think that I'm strong

You're wrong, you're wrong
I'll sing my song, my song, my song.

If I did it all again I'd be a nun
The rain was never cold when I was young
I'm still young, we're still young
Life's too short to be afraid
Step inside the sun.

- Robbie Williams - 

Feed me sweet love

Pour drops of sweetness on my skin.
Make them linger there, make them stay.
I want to feel them melting on my skin, the way your warmth mixes with mine.
There are so many different ways to feel, to say, to do and to experience things.
It's all about perceptive, perspective.

Same things. Different image.
Change a little detail, look at it in a different way, and it's clearer immediately.
But still, the inner core, its heart, remains the same...
Does looking in a different way change anything at all then?

I think it does.
Look at it front-faced, don't be afraid to look things right in the eyes and say: "Here I am."
Fear never brings wise decisions. It brings doubts, troubles, blurred minds. Who would want that?
Face your fears.
Face your feelings.
Face everything and everyone that crosses your path.
Let it overtake you, let it get you.
It might be something beautiful...

With love,
Kirsten

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way.

- Robbie Williams -