I can still recall our last Summer

Ich würde euch Blumen schicken
Aber hat das überhaupt noch Zweck?
Ich würde euch gerne noch mal sehen
Aber alle sind ja längst schon weg.

It was an amazing Summer.
I can remember how I felt when I stepped out of the train in Cologne with my suitcase, trying to prevent accidents to happen, and how suprised I was to hear "Hey, you must be Kirsten!" as soon as I got out.
Slightly nervous, little exhausted, very excited.
Relieved I felt, too. Finally being there was good, it meant there was no way back and it meant that it was time to see what was coming and to enjoy the time.

I remember being there and first seeing the others. How we quietly stood there, asking who we were and where we were from. I never imagined that we would become so close.

There was something about this Summer. I never noticed how quick a month can pass, it seems so long.
It felt like just three days ago, that moment when we arrived, and before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye.
It was magical, amazing, wonderful.
I felt good, sunny, happy, and I did a lot of what I love to do: laughing. It was great from the start, and it only got better as we grew closer to each other.

Even though we all were different, it worked perfectly. Our cultures, families, interests and personalities were not the same, but it didn't matter at all.
If you just realise how much you can learn from other people...
I really learned a lot these past four weeks. There were the facts, school-like things to know, about the places we visited, history and stories.
But above all, there were ideas, people, cultures, feelings, new friends to get to know. I also found out some new things about myself, which always is a good experience, and therefore, I thank everyone who was with me. I couldn't have done it without you, we were a wonderful combination together.
And now, as we are spread over the entire world again, I think back to the time we spent and hope there are some moments in which you think of me.

It was such a beautiful time. I never realised how things can be pretty in different ways: Rain, darkness, light, sunshine. Eventually, almost everything looks better when the sun shines, but we didn't let the clouds and the rain ruin the mood. Besides, all of you still looked gorgeous with wet hair and raindrops on the face.

I already miss them. Really bad. But somewhere, it's pretty, too. We knew we only had limited time together, and that might have been one of the reasons we grew so close.
We might see each other again, no, we will see each other again. Maybe it won't be all of us, maybe it will, but I'm sure we are going to spend some more time together. I've gotten way too used to all of them to let them go right now.

How I wished I had the time, the money and the opportunity to see all of you again next week. 

I could wait a month, a year, two years, maybe even more, if I only knew when I'd see you again. 

Not knowing makes me feel out of control, an utterly unpleasant feeling.

Maybe I should start planning my journey to visit all of them... Who will be first?
Netherlands, Germany, Iceland, Paraguay, Lithuania, France, UK? 

All of them? A new trip back to where we started? Four new weeks?
Seems fine to me...

With love,
Kirsten

There are places I remember

All my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better

Some have gone, and some remain. 

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall.

Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I loved them all.

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things, that went before.

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I loved you more.

- The Beatles -

Put down all my feelings.

Feelings are there to be expressed. The prettiest things have been created that way, and therefore we should go on, creating more. Some say the best things already are created, but we should try to be just as good at least. You might not become the new Michelangelo, or the new Shakespeare, but you could be just yourself and that should be good enough.

When creating something, I don't think it's about beauty all the time. Sometimes it's rather about dealing with something, or about putting your thoughts and feelings in order.
That's why I keep a diary. I like remembering the funny moments, I like to read back and recall. But what I love, is the moment I write it down. I love to let the day pass and think and philophize about people, things, happenings.
It always makes me calm.

I love how words and images can make a wonderful combination. I can't make the choice. I love writing and literature, books, reading, but on the other hand, what would the world be like without gorgeous images, without visible beauty?

I gave it a new try myself. I took the picture on our garden this Spring, as our magnolia tree was blooming with blossoms. The words come from the story I've been working on for such a long time already.
I hope it will be good enough one day.
How amazing it would be to write an actual book, to be able to hold it, to see the cover with my name on it. It still is a dream, but dreams are to be realised...

 

And eventually, there's the old-fashioned love letter. We write mails, we text, we call. 

Sometimes I feel like I've been born in the wrong time. 

I can just imagine it, a dress, a corset, lockets and curly hair. 

A wild romance, passionate love, all kept secret. 

Maybe I'm making it look more romantic than it really is.

Things are good the way they are, but a little romance would make it even better...

And what's wrong with a occasional love letter?

My dearest love, 

I'm looking forward to the moment 

I can hold you in my arms again. 

I miss the nights we spent together, 

just as the days you were by my side.

I have always loved you, and I will always love you. 

Forever yours,

and with love,
Kirsten

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll mis you

Remember I'll always be true.

And meanwhile I'm away, I'll write home everyday

And send all my loving to you.

I'll pretend that I'm kissing the lips I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true.

And meanwhile I'm away, I'll write home everyday

And I'll send all my loving to you.

- The Beatles -

Let us tumble through fields filled with flowers

Take my hand, let me hold yours. Take me to all the places that I wonder, to all the places I've never been. Show me all your colors, let me taste the sweetness, and feel it all inside.
Hold me high in your arms, whisper the words I long to hear.
It'll feel like home then, so natural...

Show me how colors fade, watch the sunset on the beach. Let us dive deep under water and see mermaids with shiny tails and braided hair.

Canto el ansia de estatua que persigues sin tregua         
el miedo a la emoción que te aguarda en la calle.
Canto la sirenita de la mar que te canta              
montada en bicicleta de corales y conchas.
Pero ante todo canto un común pensamiento
que nos une en las horas oscuras y doradas. 
No es el Arte la luz que nos ciega los ojos.
Es primero el amor, la amistad, o la esgrima.


I sing your restless longing for the statue
your fear of the feeling that awaits you in the street.
I sing the small sea siren who sings to you
riding her bicycle or corals and conches.
But above all I sing a common thought
that joins us in the dark and golden hours.
The light that blinds our eyes is not art.
Rather it is love, friendship, crossed swords.

From: Oda a Salvador Dalí, by Federico García Lorca

Let the flowers grow wildly, follow their natural paths. It will be as it has to be, and it is as it is.

They'll grow over our heads, reach to the sky. Take me up there, I want to get higher whenever I'm in your arms, as I feel when you stroke my hair. I could lie there in your arms forever, just staring at the sky...

It'll be our own magical place, a place like home. It will be familiar every Spring, when the leaves come back to the trees again and the sun enlightens the world.

There will be flowers everywhere...

It will look like it's been there for a hundred years. Like it belongs there. Maybe it really does. We'll belong in that fairytale world, just like you belong in my arms and my heart belongs to yours.

Now, please, give me space to think, to speculate, to philosophize, and to rearrange my blurry mind. You messed it up completely, and therefore I love you.

Set me free, let me go whenever I feel like going. I need my freedom, I need fresh air to breathe. I wanna fall and tumble and fall again, but I don't want to touch the ground. Make me feel like I'm flying.

But above all, make me even happier than I already was. I can make my own base of luck, I can brew it in my mind, but I need you to complete it. For my own made luck will match your elixir or happiness, mixed up they'll make a sweet venom called love.

Let us search all the forests, the deserts, let us climb every mountain and we'll find all the treasures life made for us. They're there to be discovered.

Oh, what I would give to escape, to run away and explore. 

There's gold in the air and diamonds in the water, and only you and me.

Isn't that enough?
Yes, it is. It's enough for forever. 

With love,
Kirsten

Well on his way, his head in a cloud

The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.

But nobody ever hears him,

or the sound he appears to make

And he never seems to notice

But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down.

And the eyes in his head see the world spinning around.

- The Beatles - 

I'm a fan

I adore books. I'm not even sure why. The smell of paper, I think.
The stories which are in them. Stories of friendship, of misery, travels, love, anything.
Poetry, or journals. I've started one again a few weeks ago, and I find it really nice to put my thoughts and feeling out there on the paper, just to get them little clearer to me.
Images of unknown places, places where I've been and places I might visit one day.
I love to flip through books with lovely pictures and dream away, or with recipes and think what the food would taste like. Or to imagine how someone could even come to the idea of photographing something special.
Photography has a lot to do with love, I think. We take pictures of memorable things, things we don't want to forget, or things so pretty we want to show everyone. 

Let's take a look at one of my very favorite photography books: Welcome by Anne Geddes. I think the way she sees children is amazing.

You are a marvel. 
Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. 
And what do we teach out children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. 
When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. 
In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. 
You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. 
Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.
Pablo Casals

I love how children are so pure and innocent, but completely honest and carelss and the same time. How many stories have I heard of little children doing funny things.
They often don't even notice it themselves.
For an example, I once said to my uncle's boss, when she was visiting: "You have been here for a long time now, I think it's time for you to go!" or when my sister pressed her muddy hands to the walls of our new-built-garage, or as the two of us stepped into wet cement.
We watched our old home-videos again the other day, and all these funny moments made me smile so widely. It's strange, I can't even remember it, but it really happened.

I wonder what makes us forget and remember certain things. There are some things we'd rather forget, but these things always stay with me the longest. Fortunately, happy memories are more than sad ones. Eventually, it's always better to stay positive...

With love, 

Kirsten

You say you will love me if I have to go.
You'll be thinking of me, somehow I will know.
Someday when I'm lonely, wishing you weren't so far away,
Then I will remember things we said today.
You say you'll be mine, girl, 'til the end of time.
These days such a kind, girl, seems so hard to find.
Someday when we're dreaming, deep in love, not a lot to say

Then we will remember things we said today.

- The Beatles 

Arriverderci!

Oh, I wonder what Rome will be like, and the best is that I'll know the answer to that in less than a day!

I got my list of things to pack finished, I shopped the last things I needed: mini-packages of shampoo, showergel, hairspray, plasters, some tops, a travel-diary, a pair of shoes - also in the Roman style, so it's a perfect match. My bags aren't packed yet, but I know what to take with me... Only problem might be closing the suitcase!

Okay, being honest, we won't have much time to stroll through the city and be pretty and glamourous, as we have an insane programm. Five churches on the first day only, and there's much more.
Fortunately, I love art, so I won't mind at all. I mean, the sun will be shining, the temperature will be nice, I'll have my friends with me, and these Roman art is really pretty, so what's not to like?
Also, I've read Dan Brown's  Angels & Demons and I'm really inquisitive to the images behing that story.
Positive spirit!

Only thing is that I probably won't be able to use the Internet for a week, so I can't post. But don't worry, it's only till next Friday, and then I'll be back with my dreams, wishes, fantasies, hopes and thoughts to share and to enjoy reading or listening to yours.

 

And who would say no to a week full of sun, friends, gelato, handsome Italian guys and your friends?

I wouldn't, for sure!

So now, I should go packing my suitcase and get some rest... Department from home is at 3.00 tonight!

Stay sunny, stay lovely, stay you!

 

With love, 

Kirsten

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, we've got everything you need 

Roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, satisfaction guaranteed

Roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away,
Hoping to take you away.

- The Beatles 

It's not always true that time heals all wounds.

How dare you break my lonely heart?

And you dance on the pieces.

Being with you just tears me apart.

Not again, not again.

- Sunrise Avenue -

There's been danced on my shattered heart. People have been passing over and over it, and still it always got healed again.

I would never have imagined the four of us becoming such close friends.
We're sisters, and therefore we're born to be rivals, jealous, angry, sad, happy, funny together. It's always been inside us.
I sing for you when you're sad, my terribly singing cheers you up. You always get the dirty jokes immediately and explain them to me when I don't. I steal your clothes, you use mine.
We're making plans for summers when we'll be grown-up. We're discussing our future, what will it be like?
In fact, there's no one who knows me better than you do.

What do I do when my love is away?

Does it worry you to be alone?

How do I feel by the end of the day?

Are you sad because you're on your own?

No, I get by with a little help from my friends.

- The Beatles -

The thought that can always cheer me up: Eventually, I've been there, done that. The place will always be special to me. I've gotten used to the desperate longing to go back immediately. But back I'll go.
I left a piece of my heart right there.

No, this is not the time or the place for a broken-hearted

'Cause this is the end of the rainbow,

Where no one can be too sad.

Bye bye, Hollywood Hills.

I'm gonna miss you, wherever I go.

I'm gonna come back to walk these streets again.

Remember that we had fun together.

- Sunrise Avenue -

I feel a deep interest for art.
Written words, poetry, prose, stories.
Painted faces, drawn images. I can't imagine how people created some of the most beautiful things. I can only try my best to create the best of me.

Above, my favorite poem, written by Goethe, and came across in Blanes, Spain. It always gives me a lovely feeling whenever I read it.
It tells a soft summer day, glowing oranges, clear blue skies. And love. Especially love.
Down, a detail of a painting by Michelangelo, which has always held my affection, since I've been a little girl. Can't wait for my trip to Rome to see it myself...

So when I'm lying in my bed,

Thoughts running through my head,

And I feel that love is dead

I'm loving angels instead.

- Robbie Williams -

Flowers rise their heads again every morning when the sun comes up. Sunflowers even follow the sun.
Empty branches come to live again in Spring. Maybe we should take a look at that more often.

One day you'll look and see I've gone,
For tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun.
Some day you'll know I was the one,
But tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun.

- The Beatles - 

Love brings the risk of being hurt. Like there would be no day without a night, there would be no happiness without pain. The people who are the closest to you, are able to hurt you the most. Not even on purpose, sometimes.
They also are able to make you feel so happy. I felt a bit moody yesterday, and then, one tiny thing happened and everything was alright again.
My best friends Anna and Jasmijn cheered me up, and they shared my happiness later, as we were sitting on a terrace and talking.
"Shall I heal your little broken heart?" and "I'm happy for you," some of the best things to hear.

Eventually, everything can be healed. Sometimes it only takes time, or some well-mixed cocktails. A good joke a friend made. A cute image in your head. 

Standing on the edge of forever
At the start of whatever
Shouting love at the world.
Back then, we were like cavemen,
We’d beam at the moon and the stars,
Then we forgave them.

We will meet you where the lights are,
The defenders, of the faith we are
Where the thunder turns around they’ll run so hard we’ll tear the ground away.

You know no one dies, in these love town lies
Through our love drowned eyes, we’ll watch you sleep tonight.

Although no one understood we were holding back the flood.
Learning how to dance the rain.
We were holding back the flood they said we’d never dance again.

- Take That - 

And we will dance again.

It's an ambiance.

We like to enjoy little thing in life. A good glass of wine, a nice conversation and being together at dinner time. The wine flows abundantly and it's a nice evening.

Dinner starting out slowly with something fresh.

A sweet desert. Our fingers and lips are red and juicy and we slush each other's noses with whipped cream.

A glass afterwards, my own kitchy apron, thinking about things we did and said. It sure was fun.

We had a dinner at a teacher's house yesterday. We're going to Rome in two weeks with that very same group, all the students from my Latin class. Different people made a course, and I made the appetizer with Lisa, and the desert with Lisa and Yannick. We had fun cooking, and the result was pretty good, even though I'm the one to say.

I like everyone who is going, so it's certainly will be awesome, and Rome is said to be very beautiful, so I'm really seeing forward to it. I've never been there, so it's going to be a nice (and sunny, hopefully) surprise. We talked about the trip yesterday, we laughed, we drank wine (only one glass, of course), and then we did the dishes together.

It was such a nice night! 

With love,
Kirsten

Roll up.
We got everything you need.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.
Roll up.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Roll up for the Mystery Tour.

The Magical Mystery Tour
Is hoping to take you away.
Hoping to take you away.

- The Beatles - 

I never said I wanted to be famous

But just imagine what it would be like...

Trips to every place I would like to go. People taking pictures of me as I get ouside. Buisiness class flights. People taking pictures of me and my boyfriend (which I don't have right now, but it comes with the image of being fabulous, of course). Romantic dinner in little cosy restaurants where no one could see us. Champagne. Wonderful suites in fabulous hotels in the middle of the city.

To all my fans,
With love from Paris,
Kirsten.

I would be sleeping in a bed filled with pearls.
I'd be able to create everything I wanted to, to make something. Even if it just was a difference...

My life would be made of diamonds and pearls, bright gemstones and sparkling wealth.
Diamonds are a girl's best friends would be my reality...

A house on the countryside, to fly away in the weekends and holidays. Escaping from the stress, enjoying the time on my own or with the people I love.

Taking a swim in my own private pool... Of course with a lovely gardenparty afterwards. Dancing with dried curls in the sun, a nice sound in the background, all my friends there, wearing see-through shawls wrapped around our hips and being together.
We're still the best friends.

Being able to buy whatever I want. Clothes, accessoiries, a lovely bag. Stylish photoshoots in the magazines. Vogue. Harper's Bazaar. Vanity Fair. Glamour. It's mine.
 

Gucci, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Valentino. Chanel, Vuitton, Louboutin.
Free samples. A bag named after me. A movie premiere, a red carpet and a wonderful dress. It always looks better with a bright smile, and I've always been able to take care of that at least.

Smiling is the key to beauty. It's healthy, and a healthy inside lights up the outside. So now my little tip:
Take a look in the mirror. Twitch your lips and pull them up as far as possible. 

Show some teeth and smile, smile, smile!

See, that's not hard at all!
Next, try with your friends, that's way more fun.

With love, 

Kirsten

They are gonna put me in the movies.
They're gonna make a big star out of me.
We'll make a film about a man that's sad and lonely
And all I gotta do is act naturally.

Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star.
Might win an Oscar, you can never tell.
The movie's gonna make me a big star,
'Cause I can play the part so well.

Well, I hope you come and see me in the movies.
Then I'll know that you will plainly see
The biggest fool that ever hit the big time
And all I gotta do is act naturally.

- The Beatles -